Home > Helpful Resources > Tip of the Week Articles

TIP OF THE WEEK ARTICLES

Women, Depression and the Holidays

Rita DeMaria, PhD
December 15, 2003 

The holiday season brings on a variety of physical, emotional and social demands for women, and sometimes these demands are overwhelming. During the holidays, a woman under any of these stresses can experience a sense of hopelessness and isolation. Women, in particular, do not thrive either emotionally or physically when they feel lonely. Women are two to three times more likely than men to suffer from depression. Thus, the holiday season can be anything but jolly.

Many women are not aware of their susceptibility to stress. The holiday season can create a 'situational' depression even for a woman who is not generally depressed. This is most likely to occur if she was recently divorced or widowed, has lost a child, or grieving or experiencing other major losses or life transitions. Sadness and hopelessness, which accompany grief, often precipitate depression. Women who ignore their emotional needs and try to help everyone else during the holidays can be at risk for a 'situational' depression. Sometimes the depression sets in after the holiday season.

Women who are in distressed and troubled marriages are likely to be depressed. The challenges of the holiday season put even more pressure on a fragile and emotionally challenging relationship. Other factors that can contribute to depression during the holidays include hormonal changes, family history, and recent illnesses such as heart attacks or cancer. Additionally, many women are not aware that there is a disorder called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that is common during winter months and is treatable with a combination of light therapy, antidepressants and psychotherapy.

Studies are showing that when emotional needs are met, both our overall sense of well-being and our health improve. Intimacy and sharing have been shown to improve the functioning of our immune system. However, many women do not realize the importance of supportive family and friends during the holiday season. Getting together with family members and friends to talk, share and bond is an essential emotional need for women. While the need for affiliation, affection, and closeness is universal, men and women support each other in very different ways. Women tend to overlook their need to connect with their female friends when they are busy planning the 'perfect' holiday gathering. Especially during the busy holiday season, the value of connecting with the important women in our lives should not be underestimated.

The holiday season is an important time for self-care. Here are useful tips to keep in mind:

• Plan time with family and friends that you enjoy being with. 

• Plan special events. If you are married or living with someone, let your partner help you with chores and activities. 

• Give assignments to your family members. It is good for everyone's self-esteem to feel like they are contributing.

• If you are feeling very depressed, contact your physician. You may also benefit from talking with a therapist who can assess the nature of your depression. 

• Take care of your body. Get rest, eat well, and take a few walks (or keep up your exercise program). 

• Take care of your emotional self. If you are grieving losses in your life, join a support group or identify one key person for support that you are comfortable talking with. 

• If you are recovering from a loss or serious illness, make sure you use (or create) a support system. 

• Take care of your spirit. The holiday season is about peace, love, and spirituality. Connect with this part of yourself in whatever way is meaningful to you.

---

Rita DeMaria, PhD is Director of the Relationship Education Program at Council for Relationships, and is a therapist in the Spring House and Wynnewood offices. She is a leading teacher, public speaker and author of "Building Intimate Relationships." Dr. DeMaria can be reached at 215-628-2450.

For more relationship advice, check out our Archive of Relationship Tips.