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Stress Reduction: Relaxation Skills and Mindfulness Meditation Practices

Lucy S. Raizman, LCSW, LMFT
June 28, 2004

We all know that chronic stress can make us sick! Long-term exposure to a perceived stressor can contribute to disease, fatigue, anxiety, and a breakdown of our biological processes. Increased attention to integrating mind and body approaches in neuroscience, medicine and psychology prompts greater curiosity about the benefits of yoga, exercise, prayer, relaxation and traditional Eastern meditation, as well as the importance of connection and bonding in relationships for general well-being. A recent weekend retreat at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies in Rhinebeck, New York reawakened my interest in the benefits of mindfulness practices and encouraged its adoption in my professional work.

Psychotherapy, particularly Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and other body-oriented treatments, positively integrate many mindfulness practices: relaxation; exercise and a healthy diet; reduction of the use of caffeine, tobacco and other substances that increase the level of stress arousal; adequate sleep; social support, such as spending time with friends and sharing intimacy with loved ones; and using humor, music and creative arts. Moreover, therapy offers a safe environment for individuals to learn how to deal with pain, suffering, and relationship issues. Psycho-education and group experiences also provide skills in communication, conflict resolution and the transformative power of anger and emotional release exercises. 

During times of increased personal or work-related distress and conflict, inevitable transitions, unexpected events, and physical or somatic problems, we can make conscious efforts to better control and reduce stress response by considering specific tips on stress reduction that reduce physiological arousal:

1. Practice deep abdominal breathing to help calm the body and mind. Additionally, use meditation, imagery and progressive muscle relaxation to help trigger a relaxation response and enhance the ability to better focus. 

2. Take steps to slow down the lifestyle pace and find ways to decompress, with attention to nutrition and diet, setting boundaries and limits, and avoiding exposure to known stressors. 

3. Use focused writing or journaling and confiding to a friend or family member to discharge buried or unexpressed emotions and thoughts. 

4. Engage in physical exercise or prayer to ventilate stress. 

5. Adopt positive cognitive reframing to change how we think about, view, or reinterpret emotionally charged events and issues. 

6. Alter habitual patterns of reactivity in the face of daily stressors by acting differently and finding distractions, such as reading, walking the dog, listening to music, and using humor. 

Regular, consistent practice restores a sense of balance in our lives and builds on inner resources to self-soothe and regulate our emotions.

The following are suggestions for practicing mindfulness:

1. Learn to identify what's happening inside you: do a body scan, focus your awareness and notice discomforting body sensations, muscle tension, emotions, motivations, and thoughts that urge you to act on impulses. 

2. Pause long enough to use deep, controlled breathing (in and out through the nose to a count of 5 or 6 breaths with your chest rising and falling and repeating with in-and-out breaths). Do this several times a day paying attention to the breath instead of closing down your breathing. This counteracts the effects of rapid, shallow breaths that can lead to hyperventilation and feelings of dizziness. 

3. Remain with the feelings in your body and tell yourself the emotions will pass and are not permanent. Feeling states do move, even overwhelming ones like anxiety, fear, anger, shame, and sadness. This is not denying or suppressing them, but rather staying present until the sensations subside. 

4. Be aware that there are alternatives to acting or speaking in the immediate moment. Pausing before you take action may avoid setting off a potential chain reaction of what American Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön, who is an inspiring, preeminent author of four books on the Tibetan Shambhala tradition, calls the vulnerability of getting hooked or attached by "Shenpa", the constant stream of judging, analyzing and reactive thinking to inner and outer experience as if the mind has "a mind of its own". 

5. Do something different as a means of distraction from responding to these habitual patterns of thoughts (or bad karma). Self-blaming or negative thoughts of unworthiness, inadequacy and failure trigger reactive behaviors. We can take a non-critical, more impartial stance, or become a witness to our emotional experience and "unhook" ourselves from such reactive thinking. 

Jon Kabat-Zinn (Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness, 1990), based on his work at The Program of the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, offers additional tips on getting started with practicing mindfulness and meditation.

1. Be a non-judging and curious witness to your own inner experience. Be aware of the judging quality of your mind and remind yourself to just observe it. You don't have to stop your mind from acting this way but there's no need to "judge the judging"! Stay present by watching your thoughts come and go, engaging in 15-20 minutes daily of sitting and including walking meditation. 

2. Be patient with your own mind and body and accept the wandering quality of your thoughts, though try not to get caught up in its travels. Thoughts, as well as emotional arousal, can overwhelm us with problems of the past and future, causing us to lose our connection to the present. 

3. Be trusting of yourself, your intuition, and your own authority rather than looking outside yourself for validation. Take responsibility for yourself. 

4. Accept and see things as they are with more clarity in the present, coming to terms with what is and not holding on to hopes and fears about changing the future. This attitude includes letting go of attempts to control things the way you want them to be, and accepting others and ourselves. 

Mindfulness meditation and stress regulation helps us explore alternative ways to emotionally regulate ourselves, providing a sense of awareness and control that comes from inner calmness, acceptance and openness.

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Lucy S. Raizman, LCSW, LMFT is a Staff Therapist at Council for Relationships, and practices in our Doylestown office. She can be reached at 215-345-8454.

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