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Managing Stress

Thomas Hallam, PhD, DMin, LMFT
November 29, 2004

Nancy and Donald Tubesing presented a model some years ago for dealing with stress in their book, Structured Exercises in Stress Management, called the "AAAbc's of Stress Management". Stress management often involves a decision-making process, and there are three basic ways of dealing with stress according to the authors - alter it, avoid it, or accept it by building resistance or changing perceptions. All three of these approaches can be used effectively to cope with stress.

Altering means changing the source of stress by changing something. It can, for instance, involve problem-solving or planning and time management. Avoiding suggests removing oneself from a stressful situation or devising a strategy not to get there at all. It can involve setting boundaries and being assertive. Acceptance involves preparing oneself physically, mentally and spiritually for stress by building resistance. Physical resistance is built through proper sleep, exercise and nutrition. Mental resistance is nurtured through positive affirmation, taking time for mental health and maintaining clarity about goals, values and priorities. Strength can be experienced from having support systems and investing in relationships and intimacy. Finally, spiritual resistance is generated through meditation, prayer, worship and faith.

Changing perception is also part of managing stress. Changing irrational beliefs like "I should succeed in everything I do" or "this ailment means I'm going to die" can be critical in stress reduction. Building self-esteem and cultivating a positive attitude are a great help. Reframing or redefining a situation as less stressful can also be useful - i.e. changing one's thought from "this is a terrible situation" to "this is a challenge I'm up to".

The AAAbc's model of dealing with stress can provide a positive, constructive process for de-stressing. Use it as you seek to manage the stress in your life and relationships.

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Dr. Thomas Hallam is a Senior Therapist and Director of CFR's Spring House, Doylestown and Oxford Valley offices. He can be reached at 215-345-8454 x1.

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