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The Powerful Importance of Handholding

Lucy S. Raizman, LCSW, LMFT
January 8, 2007

A recently published article in Psychological Science, by James Coan entitled "Lending a Hand: Social Regulation of the Neural Response to Threat," confirmed the importance of close social contact between intimate partners, particularly human touch by a loved one in promoting improved physical health and emotional well-being.

Why handholding? Handholding is viewed as a common nonverbal form of expressing affection, support, soothing, comfort, and healing. The simple act of touch in this manner has been reported to reduce anxiety under stressful situations. The key markers of loving and lifelong attachment among long-term couples means, from a physiological point of view, that the hormone called the "cuddle hormone" or oxytocin promotes physical bonding and emotional connection is released when we touch and hug our partners, or close family members, like our children.

Oxytocin has been proposed as one of the mechanisms through which the positive benefits of social support are realized and serves as a mediator of the effects of threat related brain activity. We also recognize that the sense of safety and security comes from knowing that our partner is emotionally and physically responsive and available, with the added qualities of experiencing healthy relationships that come with mutual concern and support, openness, empathy and trust. Attachment to a loved one is often internalized and accessed in the soothing memories and sensory images of seeing yourself comforted in the arms of someone you love.

What was discovered in this recent study by sixteen married women who were threatened with electric shock during a functional magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) study and the beneficial effects of spousal handholding on brain chemistry? The study’s results suggest a connection to the reported marital quality of these women’s long-term relationships. In other words, the study found that women who reported higher marital quality and had spousal handholding indicated reduced threat-related mind-body reactions. Importantly what was noted by the brain scans was reduced neural activation in the deep right parts of the brain typically most aroused during anticipation of pain, heightened arousal and negative emotions in a perceived highly distressed state and there were marked effects of reduced stress response and improved positive states by the use of touch and handholding by the women’s partner as he comforted her during the experiment.

Social isolation contributes to major health risks among adults and the lack of close attachments does not buffer us from the risks associated with stress, injury, and disease. Social support, bonding and self-soothing behaviors helps to alleviate the damaging effects of stress and other negative events.

Finally, the study cites research in the field of marriage and family therapy that links results and new insights that married couples tend on average to be healthier and happier than unmarried adults. Thus, reported higher marital quality and satisfaction is related to the presence of a central partner in a committed long-term relationship as well as decreased risk of illness, better recovery from injury, and a lower rate of mortality following a diagnosis of a life-threatening condition.

This helps us better understand why the lack of affectionate touch or absence of emotional support can be so distressing to couples. It is reassuring to know that by fostering attachment safety, secure and strong bonds, and deeper intimacy in adult love, we improve our resiliency and ability to cope with the uncertainties of life, pain and danger.

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Lucy S. Raizman, LCSW, LMFT is a Staff Therapist at Council for Relationships, and practices in our Doylestown, Spring House and CFR at Einstein offices. She can be reached at 215-345-8454.

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