Home > Helpful Resources > Tip of the Week Articles

TIP OF THE WEEK ARTICLES

Conversion Therapy

Dr. Kenneth Maguire
October 11, 2010

My very first client on my very first day at Council for Relationships was “Mike.” He was thirty-something, attractive, successful in his career, a member of his Christian church’s leadership, loved his wife and showed me pictures of his two beautiful children with pride. I wondered how I could help him, when he finally said, “I’m really happy doc, I just need to fix one thing. I’m sexually attracted to men and I need to change that. Its against God and my religion and I want to keep my family the way it is now.”

“Joe, Fred and John” came to see me toward the end of my doctoral internship. They had found “Rob,” their roommate, trying to hang himself in their apartment and didn’t know what to do. I called Rob and he agreed to come meet me right away. He was twenty-something, attractive, athletic, social, student body leader, and talked about a warm loving family actively involved in their church. As Rob shared his struggles with me and cried over the depth of his depression, he told me how he hadn’t been able to connect with any of the girls he dated. After several weeks, I asked him to tell me about the people he enjoyed.. who he admired, who he thought about and who caught his eye on campus. After he answered honestly, I commented, “Do you notice they are all men, Rob?”

“Sara” was a client who was beautiful, smart, head of Christian activities, has an attractive boyfriend, and was very popular on campus. After several months of working together she trusted me enough to tell me she didn’t think she found men attractive and had always wanted to try dating a woman. Sara was terrified of what it would do to her image on campus. “What will people say about me? I’ll lose everything. Its against God and the church.” As we talked about her thoughts, I supported her in her Christian values while suggesting she look at other Christian opinions that supported her in exploring her attraction to women. Eventually she chose to continue on exactly as she had come to me, dating men, and we ended treatment. Three weeks later, campus police called me at home in the middle of a blizzard-like night. She had kissed a girl at a Christian activities party and then disappeared. Sara’s roommates called campus security when they couldn’t find her after several hours. They scoured the campus and found Sara in her nightgown, sitting in the snow trying to cut her wrists. When I met with Sara that week she was mortified about showing the world “Who I really am.”

All these people and their stories are far too common. The culture we live in teaches us still that homosexuality is “abnormal,” “different,” “sinful,” “an abomination.” We see Christian preachers in the national spotlight who develop very successful ministries and churches partially based on preaching against homosexuality. They have long preached, with many others including mental health professionals, that for the homosexual whose attractions were not in keeping with their vision and values of how to live their life conversion psychotherapy is an option.

Conversion therapy is a broad term applied to a variety of psychotherapeutic techniques to change a person’s sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Its premise is that people have a right to choose who they want to be in the world. It ranges from electric shock treatment to the genitals while viewing erotic images of the same sex, to examining the failed father-son relationship, to the assignment of a “big brother” who can teach what it means to be a man. The theory of conversion therapy is sometimes defended by the thought/wish that that therapists can help their clients change their sexual orientation in order to improve their lives. Groups like the National Association for the Research and Treatment of Homosexuality are founded on this principal.

However, there is a growing body of research to suggest that conversion therapy is not in the best interest of the client. The American Psychological Association in 2009 published the report of a special committee of experts in sexual orientation on the reality of sexual orientation change efforts entitled Appropriate Psychotherapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation. The committee reviewed all available research and concluded that conversion therapies are not effective and, in fact, can cause harm. Since this is now the APA’s position, it serves as a warning to psychologists to not justify conversion therapy as being in the best interest of their clients.

What does this mean for Mike, Rob and Sara, and those who feel as they do? There are a multitude of faith-based organizations to help men and women live as they feel God intends them to live. These can be an excellent resource. But in the context of psychotherapy, we must continue to examine why there is a desire to change sexual orientation. We need to look at the external pressures are clients are facing and help them understand their internal world and its reality, as well as the external world which may seem either clear or confusing. In the end, it is the client’s right to choose. However, it is also the responsibility of mental health professionals to help men and women consider a variety of options as they grow in understanding themselves and leading the most fulfilling life possible.

In keeping with the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, we at Council For Relationships acknowledge the diversity of human desires including sexual, emotional and religious. We know that the delicate balance of all these pieces leads to a person’s happiness and quality of life. We also know that the clients we work with are in happy straight, gay and lesbian relationships.

---

Dr. Kenneth M. Maguire is the Assistant Director of CFR's Institute for Sex Therapy and can be reached at 267-479-2391.

For more relationship advice, check out our Archive of Relationship Tips.