Home > Helpful Resources > Tip of the Week Articles

TIP OF THE WEEK ARTICLES

Aging Baby Boomers and the New Sexual Revolution:
Myths and Realities About Love, Sex and Aging

Sabitha Pillai-Friedman, PhD, LCSW
December 3, 2007

Adults in their 40s, 50s and 60s, the baby boom generation, will soon become the largest generation of elders in American history. According to the 2000 U. S. Census, by 2020, approximately 20% of the US population will be over 65. As baby boomers are aging, there seems to be a gradual shift in attitudes about aging and sexuality. Baby boomers have been profoundly influenced during the most impressionable developmental periods of their lives by women's liberation, the sexual revolution, and gay and lesbian liberation. Hence they have experimented with non-traditional social and sexual practices and tend to have more liberal attitudes about sexuality. They are also typically more assertive in discussing sexual issues with health care providers.

However evolved their thinking might be, the average person's attitude about aging and sexuality is still wrought with myths and misconceptions. There is a common assumption in our society that individuals lose their sexual selves and turn into asexual beings as they age. Media has perpetrated this image through its portrayal of aging characters. Unfortunately, the stereotypes about aging adults and sexuality seem to have seeped into the medical and mental health communities as well.

The most commonly held myths about aging and sexuality are:

• As people age, they lose their ability to enjoy sex.
• As people age, they lose their desire to have sex.
• Older women, more so than older men, become asexual as they age.
• Aging individuals naturally develop sexual dysfunctions and should accept it as the norm.

The reality about aging and sexuality is:

• Men and women have the ability to enjoy sex at any age.
• Men and women feel desire for sexual satisfaction at all ages.
• Women do experience some physiological and hormonal changes during and after menopause that may affect their sexual adjustment.
• Men may also experience some age-related sexual challenges.
• Certain medical conditions that commonly affect aging adults, such as, heart disease, hypertension, stroke, diabetes and cancer, may compromise the sexual adjustment of older adults.
• Medical and pharmaceutical research has yielded many useful treatments to effectively treat most of the age-related sexual dysfunctions.
• Many older adults internalize the ageism that is perpetrated by the media and the rest of the world and limit themselves sexually.

How can mature adults nurture their sexuality as they age?

• Do seek medical professionals who are sex positive (have positive attitudes about sex and sexuality). If your medical professional does not address your concerns about your sexual functioning with respect and professionalism, do seek a second opinion.
• If you are in a relationship, learn to communicate openly about your sexual needs.
• Do learn about age-related changes in the sexual adjustment of your partner and yourself.
• Expand your definition of sex. It is important to move away from intercourse-focused sex to a broader and more sensual interpretation of sex.
• If you are single, keep your sexual self primed by self-pleasuring.
• Eat healthy and exercise regularly because your sexual health is dependent on the well-being of the rest of your body.

---

Sabitha Pillai-Friedman, PhD, LCSW, is a senior staff therapist at the Institute for Sex Therapy at Council for Relationships. She specializes in treating individuals and couples who are dealing with relationship and sexual issues at different stages in life. She can be reached at 267-479-2390.

For more relationship advice, check out our Archive of Relationship Tips.